You get a certain kind of woman who is too good to wash dishes, make food, clean her house or be nice to anyone around her and always have to talk in a shrill voice showing the entire world her lack of breeding and intellect. It is no use to deny the type exists and to be sure there are men like that too – this blog is not an attack on women. I think I am on record in many books to say the female specie is the improved one - the second attempt which is usually better than the first and certainly my late wife was the smart one between us. However you get the odd ones and they are not “otherwise” or even cute, they are plainly miserable people to be around at the best of times.
I avoid such people, I like to have peace or the ability not to get furious enough to have chest pain before my time. You cannot change the boring middle class people who live only for three things (1) their jobs about which they complain nonstop but will never resign or try something else. They are too scared and they don’t have the guts to do so but they look down on those who tried and failed. (2) Their children which is to them god and so important that you need to hear absolutely everything and nothing you hear is ever of much interest to you. And you know what, after the seventh time of hearing about little (whoever, put a name in here) you are so fed up you can cry to heavens for patience. I get that your kids are important to you, note please, to you, not to the entire world. And kindly remember to sometimes ask about other people’s kids too, it is called good manners but you would not know that. (3) Their utterly boring conventional lives which is only about the above mentioned things and now includes which coffee shop they will experience next time and which country they will visit with money they don’t have to take a picture of themselves in front of a place with zero cultural importance to an African. And that my friends show I am unconventional and to such people something dangerous to be avoided at all costs.
I wish to apologise today where I hammered my opinions, boring as they are mostly, into your throats with my blogs and books. At least you can stop reading it or skip it unlike these people who sound like bees all around you. I affirm that I will try not to be like the specie above. Do my views mean I am artistic and out of touch? My word, no, I am just me. What about “otherwise” as one of my female characters in my fiction books? Probably, it depends who you talk to. I am sure an ex-wife will inform you with much reason I am very “otherwise” and with weird ideas. For instance this past weekend quite a few boring people took exception because I like listening to Uncle Angus Buchan (a well-known preacher who wrote “Faith like Potatoes” and other books). According the middle class madams I just described, the man is evil. He looks down on them and says they belong in the kitchen and should subject themselves to their husbands! My word, he probably has a Christian Sharia thing going according to them and yet, if you ask them to state exactly where he said it they cannot do so. And being subjected in love to your husband is not abuse, by the way. If you feel it is, then you are married to the wrong man for no soul is capable in hurting his other half. Go and read my book Better Men.
Now I deal with facts, if you say something you must be able to prove it. If a pretty girl looks at me, I first look behind me and then wonder what she wants, perhaps she thinks I am richer than what I am (don’t worry, no pretty girl ever looks at me, I don’t have that kind of face). “A man must know his limitations in life” say Mr Eastwood and so it is. I know the madams’ poorly abused husbands agree with them on Mr Buchan but then that is expected. They are worn out trying to keep them happy and probably think of their secretaries on Sunday afternoons when they are allowed a very boring missionary expedition for two minutes flat.
Someone asked me the other day if I like anyone in life? Well, yes, I loved my late wife and she me. I have a few friends and many more readers who think I am not that bad so why do I dislike the madams so much? It comes down to their undeniable snobbishness of looking down on everyone whilst they have nothing to be proud of in my eyes. I ask you, if you have a nice job, nice house and nice everything in life, how can you possibly need God? Where have you been tested in your life? Do you know the feeling of tears as Goethe once wrote? “Who never eat with tears his bread, Who never through night's heavy hours, Sat weeping on his lonely bed, He knows you not, ye heavenly powers!” This was back in 1853 by the way.
I look at religious ministers and the middle class madams talking about being poor and suffering with wonder when they get into their very nice car afterwards to drive to their very nice middle class house to eat their very nice meal and moan and groan about everything and anything instead of being grateful. I recall the Holy Bible stating “If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that? Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.…” James 2 verse 16 for those who want to read it themselves.
I get what is meant with feeling sorry for such people…they really believe they are saved and good people and all the while they will struggle to get into the New Jerusalem. I just don’t see them ever getting to heaven. When you say that to them in the spirit of getting them to catch a wake up (something a client said to her former son in law many years ago) they get angry. They point fingers back quoting that you should look at yourself first.
Yep, they have a point, I admit my faults in life, I regret them. No one is perfect and most certainly not me, I made mistakes, big ones. However, I know my own heart and unlike them I was tested beyond anything they will ever be able to endure and yet, I am still here. I help many and I still bring a smile to many more reading my books and at times they honour me to ask advice. And I have total peace, I know I will survive until I go home to where I want to be. I know a car, a house and a boring job is not that important in life. No, what is important is to show mercy where you can, to be what my Lord wants me to be. The rest I don’t care about. I survived the tests and I became a much better man. I am not boring middle class without compassion.
Koos Kotze is a former member of the South African Police Force. He served between 1985 and 1991 primarily as a sergeant in the Pretoria Flying Squad. During his police years, he was awarded the South African Police Medal for Combating Terrorism twice besides lesser awards. After leaving the Police Force he obtained the law degrees B Iuris & LLB at the University of the Free State (Bloemfontein, South Africa) and was a commercial law attorney for eight years. These days he is the owner of JKLS Africa and Associates, a specialist legal consultancy which specializes in reducing legal risk in sub Saharan Africa. He wrote several books on business, law, counter-terrorism and security issues. At times he is asked to participate on the Voice of America regarding legal forensic matters.