Some of you probably know I published my second cookbook last week, which just shows you what boredom can do to a man. As a logical sequence of the first cookbook, this one takes food one step further, where we look at dating or rather food to impress your date with.
Many suggested chocolate sauce and brushes (not included - a waste of good food if you ask me) and all who commented on the first cookbook wanted a few breakfasts. Now the first cookbook was all about survival. I noticed many elderly men got scurvy because of only having barbecues after their wives passed on, or they got themselves divorced. Unexpectedly, they had to cook and simply could not, since the departed missus had done all the cooking for decades. Therefore that book was very basic. I am not much of a chef and like doing dishes a lot more than cooking, but it will keep you from getting scurvy at least.
The genuine cookbooks, in my view, have major flaws in them. No man without "f unnatural tendencies" as my old sergeant so eloquently put it; will be able to understand half the ingredients used. Real men do not ask for directions or cooking ingredients. So the widowers learned the hard way that you simply cannot live on meat or takeaway food alone. I was (and am) astonished to see how many thousands of the first cookbook were downloaded and how many letters / emails I got from across the world from appreciative readers. And as said they all asked for breakfasts, causing Melissa and me to wonder how good they think the dinner date will be if they need to make breakfast for the lady in question.
Dinner dates & picnics & breakfasts summarize the second cookbook quite nicely. It is a mix and match of food - still very simple and with local ingredients so anyone would be able to create something to eat from it. It also includes a chapter on good table manners which is something I don't often see these days. I bet every one of you who reads here and had the benefit of a decent SAP & SADF education in their youth, would know you don't eat with a stupid baseball cap on your head. Not in my house anyway you don't, and it is irritating. Same with those ignoramuses who don't understand the value of soft background music, or which wine is served with what food. All such things are included in the new cookbook for your new date may know and expect these things.
This brings me nicely to the topic of romancing the stone, or internet rather, for I am a fan of dating sites. Why bother locally if your soul mate may be in another country? After all I would never have met mine without the internet and believe me we searched for years. It may sound stupid to you but we also recognised each other. There is no point in listening to the horror stories we hear and read about and I will not even bother to deal with the scams again. It is well known and idiotic to think only Americans get scammed. I wonder how many times I was asked for money for a sick child or whatever.
No doubt you need to be careful and you will have a major disadvantage if searching from Africa. Just Saturday I discovered a very nice website dealing with online dating scams. This interested me because I am supposed to be a legal expert on all other scams and dealt with it thoroughly in my book "Tricks of Trade - Memories of a Rogue Lawyer." I support such websites and this one even included pictures and names of the scammers as well as counselling and links to the FBI and others who might be interested in your woes.
The problem though is that they don't state clearly enough that not all Africans (or people from Africa) are scammers or gasp, green card seekers. Most of us actually have a decent education, make good money, and have no intention of leaving the African shores, but you would find it hard to convince them. And this is rather sad - that we have such a bad reputation.
What is also sad is the utter lack of knowledge from the "advanced" nations in the geography of Africa. For instance they tend to believe everyone is from West Africa (Nigeria et al) where most of the scammers are and that Egypt is in the Middle East and not North Africa. In fairness, we have to admit (I do), that I would not be able to point out where all the states are in my late wife's tribal areas known to you as the USA. Why should I and fair enough why should they know the difference?
I remember with a wry grin how Melissa struggled to convince her friends that her new husband is actually white, even if African, but that is history now and makes no difference. Point is that your soul mate may be anywhere and in any colour, and if so inclined, any sex too. And she will not be bothered by the lack of knowledge or anything else but you, who she is searching for, and been waiting for all her life. This makes it exciting and worthwhile and although I have no intention to ever date again, nothing is stopping you. Good luck and drink a glass of wine on me if my cookbook can assist you and remember...married couples also date each other. The romance did not stop when you left the church all those years ago. Your love is to be treasured at all times. Make an effort.
Koos Kotze is a former member of the South African Police Force. He served between 1985 and 1991 primarily as a sergeant in the Pretoria Flying Squad. After leaving the Police Force he obtained the law degrees B Iuris & LLB at the University of the Free State (Bloemfontein, South Africa) and was a practicing commercial law attorney for eight years. He also wrote several books on business, law, counter terrorism and security issues. He is a widower and lives in Bloemfontein, South Africa.