I wrote a book on the leadership position a man have in his own household or should have rather for it is under severe threat these days. We also looked at what comes naturally with such a position. For instance what you as a man, is supposed to do to help your wife around the house. After all she is not your slave and with leadership comes huge responsibility. Note that our natural leadership position is not protected in law anymore and a bit more like a "submission" from the wife's part and hence she can recall it when she wishes. That makes it imperative for you not to abuse it but it is in the book.
From what my female friends tell me there seems to be a lack of good manners from men too. The opening of a car door is seen as weakness by both sexes and sure enough I had a case where my client's fingers got slammed in a door by the overeager suitor (who at least tried to do the right thing). Even the traditional right of a man to fix or break things himself is now left to an overpaid "handyman" and so the list continues. We even looked at romanticism after the marriage which also seemed to have been replaced with a more cynical attitude best left for the mistress. Of course that is nonsense, romance never stops between couples. It is like the cold always there.
And on that topic one reader asked me: "Why do I need to buy a fishing license but people can breed without one?" Well in fact, the law (via our mates the long haired liberals in parlement) has a lot to say about human breeding enterprises. We know that no means NO as it should be. We know that it is possible to rape your wife and most certainly mentally ill people are not allowed in the breeding process either. That one is based on a lack of consent - no consent means rape and some cannot consent because of their unfortunate condition. So the law is in the bedroom or your car's backseat if less cultured or broke or over eager or whatever.
It made me wonder though...what would happen if the long haired liberals and their fellow cockroaches (some say curse) called lawyers had to draft an Act for what is known in plain Afrikaans as a "stoot lisensie"... a common Afrikaans term to "make love or have intercourse license" for those not understanding the Afrikaans language.
I expect we will have two major problems - first the queues may be around the block twice or people would simply not bother to obtain this license. How do you enforce it anyway? I suppose by declaring any pregnancy treatment must be accompanied by a notarial certified copy of your "stoot lisensie!" In fourfold if you please and to waste your time even more, to be handed in at four different government departments simultaneously. So it would not work well. Us colonials not being Irish, we simply cannot be at more places than one at the same time.
Seriously, there is a similar duty on you in that you must declare your STD and Aids status before committing the Act. And I can tell you, if positive you better have a very good waiver ready to be signed after carefully explaining exactly what the consequences will be. Somehow I doubt that she will be interested in further proceedings. I also know that many, before marriage, tests for blood groups to see if it will affect children born from the forthcoming marriage and not being a medical man I have no idea what they look for. Obviously some culture then wants a certificate of virginity too. Yeah, complicated.
Then, can you imagine the taxation clauses in our "stoot lisensie wet?" So tell us Mr Citizen, how many inches were used during the event? How long did it last? What position did you assume etc? Sure they will find a way to make it boring if not downright expensive. I can just visualise a clever IT guy linking your recent purchases at the pharmacy or clinic in size and quantity to crosscheck if your reporting on your tax form is accurate! So perhaps it is good that nature (for once and within acceptable rules) takes it's course without further long haired liberal interference. Be happy men and treat your wife as if she is the nearest and dearest in your life. Be romantic lads - get stuck in!
Koos Kotze is a former member of the South African Police Force. He served between 1985 and 1991 primarily as a sergeant in the Pretoria Flying Squad. After leaving the Police Force he obtained the law degrees B Iuris & LLB at the University of the Free State (Bloemfontein, South Africa) and was a practicing commercial law attorney for eight years. He also wrote several books on business, law, counter terrorism and security issues. He is a widower and lives in Bloemfontein, South Africa.